“Namibia has its share of strange happenings, such as some men being caught red-handed in acts of bestiality with goats or cows, but strangest of them all is the recent event in which a cow reportedly gave birth to a ‘human baby’ at a remote village in Caprivi… Theories abound but one that seems to prevail is that it might be a case of bestiality gone wrong, though scientifically-speaking it is impossible for a man to sire a calf. But as stranger than fiction as it may seem, the birth of the half-cow, half-human described by Masubia Chief Kisco Liswani III as having a human face and the tiny hands of a human baby with tiny fingers complete with fingernails occurred recently at Kabulabula… Immediately after being informed about the birth, the chief relayed this information to the regional police chief but until yesterday the police had not yet attempted to probe a potential case of bestiality or whatever might be the case, annoying the khuta in the process. Though the half-human, half-cow creature had bovine features, villagers are so convinced it was human that when it died they buried it at the local graveyard for humans. Since villagers are usually buried in rudimentary coffins fashioned from reeds, this creature was also buried in a ‘coffin’ made from this material abundant in that area, but it is not clear whether any local priest conducted the last rites with the Bible, as is normally the case. But the chief says the police together with his khuta should exhume this ‘body’ and get to the bottom of the saga, while Induna Ikosa who is also conducting a parallel probe has not ruled out the possibility of a case of bestiality gone terribly wrong, saying bestiality exists.” — NewEra.com (US)

This is what happens when modern media meets unmodern (to put it politely) cultures. Something freaky happens. It gets misinterpreted. The “news” floats up and out. The news outlets typically have more to gain by being entertaining than true — thus this article, while mentioning that it is impossible for a human to impregnate a cow, lays heavy emphasis on the bestiality angle.

Science is quite clear that this cannot be the result of bestiality. However, it’s entirely possible that something freakish was born. Not long ago there was the “alien” creature born from a cow. The pictures seem pretty convincing that some physical oddity briefly graced the face of the earth. The bestiality hypothesis is less convincing than the possibility that the oddity is nothing more than what it is — an oddity. Probably the cow with a human face was nothing more than that too. Last year there was a stillborn dog with a humanoid face too.

Interestingly, although science says it is impossible for a cow-fucker to impregnate a cow, science itself is able to do some inter-species gene splicing. To further stem-cell research, scientists recently wanted to create a human-animal embryo. One scientist admitted, “It does seem a little abhorrent at first analysis, but you have to understand we are using very, very little information from the cow in order to do this reprogramming idea. It’s not our intention to create any bizarre cow-human hybrid, we want to use those cells to understand how to make human stem cells better.” You can’t help but wonder, though, what might happen if this technology were to fall in the hands of perverts and bestialists….

“A 36-year-old man took revenge on his roommate after she refused to have sex with him by allegedly urinating on her dog, police said. Police said the man was arrested early Thursday morning on tentative charges of criminal damage to property and disorderly conduct related to domestic violence. According to police reports, the man was drunk when he argued with the woman. After she resisted his advances the man went to the basement where he urinated on her dog and the floor. Police said the argument continued, and when the woman’s sister stood up in defense the man pushed her into a wall. He then allegedly stormed from the home and punched out a window.” — Associated Press (US)

(Thanks to “Chris Finch” for the link.)

Jesus, one minute you’re hanging out on a throw rug in the basement. Maybe you’re gnawing on a bone or you’re picking fleas out of your fur. The next minute some drunken idiot is pissing on you. For a shocked moment you’re not sure what’s going on. A bath? But wait — you’re a dog. You know that smell. If you could talk, you’d bark out something like, “What the fuck? You wig or something? I’m man’s best friend!” They don’t call it a dog’s life for nothing.

Evidently this is less a story about sex than about drink. It’s one thing to have blue balls when you’re all worked up and can’t get laid. It’s another thing to decide that peeing on a mutt is a good way of exacting revenge. If he were sober when pursuing this line of retribution, you might think that the guy knew that the reticent victim liked a good golden shower. “I’ll show her what she’s missing,” a sober guy might have thought. But a drunk? He was just pissing a stream of pure stupid anger out of his system.

Of course, this guy and his victim were roommates. Hopefully the dog went into his room and took a dump in his underwear drawer. That would put the dog ahead of the man in understanding the “eye for an eye” principle of retaliation.

“Young girls. A young boy. Cows! All of these were listed by authorities as the victims of alleged sexual assaults on which suspended Moorestown police Patrolman Robert Melia Jr. and his girlfriend, Heather Lewis, were indicted yesterday by a Burlington County grand jury… [The pair] were indicted together on 45 various charges of sexual assault involving three underaged females between June 2000 and January 2006, said Joel Bewley, Bernardi’s spokesman. Police were alerted to what was allegedly going on after one of the girls told her stepfather that Melia and Lewis had been assaulting her for years in Melia’s home. Using a search warrant, detectives found pornography on Melia’s computer. He was suspended as a cop, and he and Lewis were arrested. Then investigators heard about the cows. Animal cruelty charges were filed two weeks later… Melia alone was indicted on four counts of cruelty to animals in the fourth degree for the alleged fellatio with farm cows in 2006 in Southampton Township.” — Zwire (US)

Here is a photograph of Mr. Melia and here is one of Ms. Lewis. Weirdly, neither seems to have a chin. Mr. Melia’s dissolves into his neck, and Ms. Lewis’ gets lost in a roll of fat. Their faces make you recall those attempts by 19th century phrenologists to correlate the shape of a person’s cranium with tendencies to criminal behavior. Is this the face of a person inclined to perform a sex act on a cow?

Fellatio, of course, is oral stimulation of the penis, and a cow is a female creature, so you can presume that Mr. Melia was trying not to give but to receive. You might also presume that Ms. Lewis informed the police about these forays into animal cruelty. How else would the information have come to light? It’s unlikely that Mr. Melia would have incriminated himself, and the cows didn’t come forward to complain.

No one enjoys going to prison, but Mr. Melia will enjoy it even less than the average joe. Police officer, pedophile, pederast, bestialist — these are not the sort of tags you want to bring to jail with you. One is bad enough. Four of them? Mr. Melia may not have been consciously seeking to kill himself, but he pursued a suite of activities that will attract nothing good on his cell block. You’ve heard of suicide by cop? This is almost the opposite — a cop committing suicide through perversion.

“The Most Rev Peter Akinola, one of the most powerful figures in the Anglican Communion, has cited a man’s arrest for having sex with sheep as proof of Britain’s moral decline. Dr Akinola, the Primate of Nigeria and a leader of traditionalists worldwide, said the alleged offences of bestiality in south London showed how ’spiritual degradation’ was destroying the country’s soul. He also claimed the advent of civil partnerships for homosexual couples showed that politicians are ‘upturning the natural order’ and doing away with God and family life. Dr Akinola referred to the alleged farmyard sex crimes in an important speech to the General Synod of the Church of Nigeria, the 18 million-strong church’s governing body, last month. He said: ‘As a church we cannot but continue to decry the disturbing level of moral decadence and spiritual degradation eating deep into the soul of western societies. In the United Kingdom, all through Europe and in an ever-increasing number of states in America, legislators make laws to upturn the natural order and throw God away from the public domain. Marriage and family life as we know them in the word of God have been jettisoned. People of the same sex are legally permitted to marry… As if these are not bad enough, only last week the Tell magazine reported in its 36th edition on page 12 that a 27-year-old man was arrested for having sex with a sheep in Dulwich, south-east London.’ The incident to which Dr Akinola referred involved a man who lives in Dulwich being arrested on suspicion of carrying out a series of sex attacks on sheep at a farm in Bromley earlier this year. The attacks left two animals dead and several others traumatised.” — Telegraph (UK)

PervScan readers will recall the sheep-screwing incident which evidently marks the low point in the United Kingdom’s moral barometer. You would think that an occasional case of animal molestation wouldn’t herald the decadence of an entire nation, but evidently that is not how the Most Rev Peter Akinola thinks of the matter. For him, the very occurrence of such a heinous deed is like God’s voice booming out of the sky to tell us we’re all fuckin’ doomed. As its debauched inhabitants sodomize sheep, England will doubtless sink into the sea.

After all, it doesn’t have to be this way. Just look at Nigeria. Do guys fuck sheep in Nigeria? Sure they do — but Nigerians know that a few months in prison and 30 strokes of the cane will cure an animal fucker of his diseased lust. And shouldn’t England consider modeling itself on Nigeria in so many other ways? Rampant prostitution, the stoning of homosexuals, “genital theft” — the place is clearly a moral utopia. Then again, perhaps that is because Nigeria outsources its perversions to Europe the way an American company outsources its tech support to India. “Nigeria accounts for about 70 per cent of the estimated 70,000 girls trafficked from African countries… some other girls usually fall into the hands of perverts who subject them to sexual perversions such as masochism and making them sleep with dogs while they watch.” What better way to rid a land of perversion than to send its possible victims to other countries?

Of course, this isn’t even to mention all the spam that originates from Nigeria or the human-rights violations. Wouldn’t England do well to emulate these too?

“Doctors treating a 14-year-old Indian boy were stunned to find a 2cm long fish had ’slipped’ into his penis. The patient, who was admitted to hospital with complaints of pain, dribbling urine and acute urinary retention spanning a 24-hour period, gave an interesting explanation. The patient claimed that the fish ’slipped’ into his penis while he was maintaining his aquarium. ‘While he was cleaning the fish tank in his house, he was holding a fish in his hand and went to the toilet for passing urine. When he was passing urine, the fish slipped from his hand and entered his urethra and then he developed all these symptoms,’ the Daily Telegraph quoted Professor Vezhaventhan and Professor Jeyaraman, who treated the boy, as saying. After detecting the fish in the boy’s bladder, the doctors used a technique known as cystourethroscopy to insert a special set of forceps down the patient’s penis. Unfortunately, the fish was just too slippery to grip, so they resorted to using a rigid ureteroscope with a tool attached that is normally used for removing bladder stones. The fish the urologists removed, which Practical Fishkeeping believes to be a small member of the Betta genus, measured 2cm long and 1.5cm wide. The boy was later admitted into counselling to help him overcome any trauma.” — Yahoo (US)

(Thanks to “Chris Finch” for the link.)

What else could the young man say other than that the fish “slipped” into his penis? Was he supposed to say, “Doc, you won’t believe what a strapping youth would do in search of jollies. Some boys would core an apple and screw the hole. Others would slather mayonnaise on that little cylinder of cardboard inside a roll of toilet paper and pretend it’s their auntie’s quim. Me? Well, I was cleaning this fish tank, and suddenly I had this wild idea…” It’s embarrassing enough being a teenager. There’s probably no teen on earth capable of admitting such a lapse of judgement.

Here’s a question. Would you categorize this as bestiality? Bestiality is sometimes a matter of inserting a human, um, thing inside an animal. And sometimes it’s a matter of putting an animal part in a human orifice. But if a person inserts an entire animal into his body, is it bestiality? It calls to mind “gerbilmania” or “gerbil stuffing” in which a gay man, most notoriously Richard Gere (according to the urban legend), inserts a gerbil into his ass for kicks. There doesn’t appear to be any reality to this supposed fetish, but suppose it were true. Would it be bestiality? It would be hard not to qualify it as such, since it involves man, animal, and eros.

And yet, if you find the usual behaviors of bestiality disturbing, somehow it’s even more upsetting to contemplate a human body swallowing up an entire animal, be it gerbil, fish, eel, snake, etc. Doubtless this is because, when you put a live animal inside you, you can no longer restrain what it does. The inside of your body is largely outside your control. Once a fish swims up your dick and lands in your bladder, there’s not a hell of a lot you can do about it. Same thing when a gerbil disappears up your ass. What then? You don’t have much choice but to turn to doctors — and they, quite possibly along with the rest of the world, will be laughing their asses off at you.

“A Colorado man faces charges of having sex with a dog and forcing a 7-year-old boy to watch. Jason Lee McRoberts, 30, of Castle Rock faces a felony charge of obscenity. He was released Thursday after posting $1,000 bond. No phone number could be found for McRoberts, and he had no attorney listed in court records. Police say the alleged incident occurred between December 2007 and June 2008 when McRoberts lived in Grand Junction, 190 miles west of Denver. Authorities say he has since moved to Castle Rock, 20 miles south of Denver. An arrest warrant affidavit said the 7-year-old boy’s mother told police about the alleged incident. Mesa County’s District Attorney Pete Hautzinger told The Daily Sentinel in Grand Junction that it’s not clear whether McRoberts will face any child-abuse counts. Prosecutors did not immediately return a call to The Associated Press Friday.” — Denver Post (US)

(Thanks to Furpo for the link.)

Here is a picture of Mr. McRoberts. With those prominent cheekbones and chocolate brown eyes, he might be attractive to many men and women — and, who knows, maybe to many dogs too. He must have thought so. Another news report clarifies that Mr. McRoberts had sex with a male dog named JoJo in the bedroom of a home that he shared with the boy whom he wanted to mentor in animal sex. Evidently the boy was a good student, because the whole story came to light when his mother caught the seven-year-old practicing his lessons on the family mutt. She must have screamed something like, “Oh my God! What are you doing to JoJo?!” And the boy must have replied, “Just what Jason taught me. It feels good, ma!”

Bestiality, exhibitionism, pedophilia, a sprinkling of homosexuality (male violator, male kid, male dog) — when you apply the clinical terms to the whole thing, it gives you the feeling that it’s all explained. “Why, of course, Mr. McRoberts simply shows an unusual amalgamation of perversions that are, individually, relatively common.” But then when you take the terms away again, you’re left with an act that defies easy explanation. It’s one thing to boff a family dog. It’s another thing to think you’re a good guy for teaching a seven-year-old how to do it. What was Mr. McRoberts thinking? Was this one of those pot-addled things that seemed like a good idea at the time? Did the boy surprise him with his wee-wee in JoJo and, in his embarrassment, did he try to transform the whole thing into an educational experience? (”I don’t really like dog sex myself. I’m just trying to show you how it’s done — in case you like it.”) Had someone show him when he was just a lad? Probably no one will ever know, and JoJo may well be wondering the same things himself.

“A police investigation in to the sexual assault and death of several sheep is hampered because the suspect has a twin brother. DNA found at the scene of the sick assaults in and around Tongs Farm, Botany Bay Lane, Chislehurst, could belong to either of the 27-year-old men. The molester left his clothes strewn across the fields from which police were able to extract DNA but if the twins are identical it will be the same. Two sheep are thought to have been killed and several others traumatised in the brutal attacks which happened between March and June this year. At first, only one man was arrested during a dawn raid at a property in Dulwich on July 17. He was arrested on suspicion of bestiality and possession of drugs with intent to supply. But the Times has discovered that a second man was arrested on suspicion of bestiality at his home in Sydenham on July 18. Both men, who have been bailed, are forbidden from entering farmyards and the borough of Bromley. According to a source, a key witness now has to pick out the suspect in an identity parade because although they are twins, ‘there are differences between them’. A police spokesperson would not confirm the men were twins or whether there would be an identity parade but said: ‘We can confirm that there have been two arrests and enquires are continuing.” — Bromley Times (UK)

(Thanks to Furpo for the link.)

Ever see the David Cronenberg film Dead Ringers? It is based partly on the true story of identical twin brothers who became doctors — gynecologists, of all things — and proceeded to live about as decadent a life as they could. Eventually they died from barbiturate withdrawal. You hear about drug fiends dying from overdoses often enough, but from withdrawal? You can imagine how deeply addicted they must have been.

These twin gynecologists may now be outdone on the degeneracy meter by the “sheep abuse” suspects. The article speaks as though there is only one bestialist, and thus the problem is to determine which brother shtupped the sheep. But what if the assaults were committed by both brothers? Or why not one brother one night and the other brother the next? Then again, whether it was one or both, the story raises intriguing philosophical questions. Suppose only one of them rapes sheep. Could scientists do genetic profiles of the two brothers and perhaps isolate some gene that inclines a person toward sex with animals? If a zoophilic gene were discovered, would parents want to screen their children for it at birth? What would you do if you had a zoophilic baby? Euthanize it? Keep it away from the pet goldfish?

The whole story also possesses wonderful dramatic possibilities. Imagine each brother accusing the other of sheep fuckery. You’d never be able to figure out which was telling the truth. What could you do — keep them locked in a sheep barn until one gives in to the temptation to screw some woolly hole? Or what about the supposed ESP of twins? If one brother fucks animals and the other doesn’t, would the “normal” twin have to suffer through a vicarious, paranormal experience of an act that repulses him? The camera shows Twin B lying in bed, half asleep. Suddenly he is roused by the intensely realistic visions of sheep sex beamed to him from his brother… What a story. Somebody get David Cronenberg on the line.

“The nation’s largest animal sanctuary has agreed to accept two dogs that authorities say were trained to have sex with women. A mixed breed and a Labrador, formerly owned by Diane Sue Whalen of Tulsa County, have been accepted by the Best Friends Animal Society in Kanab, Utah, said Barbara Williamson, spokeswoman for the animal sanctuary. The dogs — named Lucky and Buddy — will be taken to the no-kill sanctuary next month. Whalen, 54, and Donald Roy Seigfried, 55, were charged with felony crimes against nature after Whalen’s adult son found more than 150 tapes of his mother performing sex acts with her dogs and a blue heeler owned by Seigfried. Seigfried was accused of filming the acts. The dogs were placed in the Tulsa Animal Shelter following the arrests. While Whalen relinquished custody of her dogs, Seigfried is fighting for ownership of the blue heeler, named Merlin. Earlier this month, a judge ordered that the dogs be examined by a veterinarian and found suitable for adoption before being placed in homes. Both of Whalen’s dogs have been deemed adoptable. The dogs were neutered at a Tulsa veterinary clinic. Jamee Suarez, president and founder of the Oklahoma Alliance for Animals, said the dogs are healthy and are recovering from their surgeries… A deputy who investigated the case had recommended that the dogs be euthanized and wrote in court affidavits that they had been trained to rape.” — CBS News (US)

(Thanks to “Chris Finch” for the link.)

Here is a picture of one of the dogs. Here is the mom. None of the articles about this incident specify whether the videos were for personal use or were being distributed somehow. Anyone recognize the lady from a bestiality video?

The spokesperson for the animal sanctuary claimed that the dogs were “totally victims.” Victims? Because they were trained to do something that gave them pleasure? Is that any worse than being trained to hunt fox or chase pheasants out of brush? Hm, well, that’s a philosophical conundrum. But there is definitely a more pronounced victim in this case — the son. Imagine stumbling across a huge cache of videos that show your mom fucking dogs. It can’t be pleasant, unless you happen to harbor both incestuous and zoophiliac inclinations.

Here’s another philosophical conundrum. Suppose you were to discover a bunch of videos showing dogs shtupping your mother. What’s the right thing to do? Report it to the police? Speak to your mother about it? Get her psychological help? Get yourself pyschological help? Both? Ignore the whole thing and try to blot it out of your mind? Ask to join in the fun? This lady’s son chose to go to the cops. What’s that say about him? Blood may be thicker than water, but evidently it’s not thicker than dog cum mixed with mom’s saliva.

“A Sacramento man was in jail Tuesday after he was caught allegedly sexually assaulting a dog. Sacramento Police were called … after a woman allegedly caught her brother using her five-month-old bulldog, ‘Chateau,’ to masturbate, said Konrad Von Schoech, Sacramento Police. The woman made a citizen’s arrest against her brother and called police. The suspect, Kelly Pecor, now faces the charge of sexual assault on an animal. Pecor is a registered sex offender.” — CBS5 (US)

Here is a picture of Mr. Pecor. (Does his name rhyme with pecker?) He looks like one of those guys whose beard forms a single carpet of hair with his chest. He could use a visit to the prison barber. It may even be a reunion between the barber and him, since Mr. Pecor has been in trouble before. You can find him on the California sex offender registry. His previous offense was to “annoy/molest children.”

It would be interesting to hear the sister’s side of the story as well. What motivated her to rat on her brother? Was this the first time she caught him with “Chateau?” Had she been discovering globs of semen on the dog’s fur? Did she try to discourage her brother on previous occasions — “Now Kelly, you better leave Chateau alone or else…” — or did she dial 911 the moment she saw her brother fondling her dog? Does she prefer her pet to her own brother? How ironic that would be — the sister harboring a sort of spiritual bestiality, a love for her dog, that causes her to censure the sexual bestiality of her brother…

And here is a philosophical question. If a man ceases to molest children and turns his attention toward animals, does that represent an improvement in his sexual pathology? It surely must be less immoral to masturbate with a bulldog than to abuse a child. On the other hand, might switching from children to dogs represent a worsening of the man’s sexual pathology? After all, to fuck an animal is to take one step further away from your fellow man. It’s less humane to abuse a child, but somehow it’s less human to masturbate with a dog. Where does that leave you — outside humanity? Inside monstrosity?

“Frank Kameny, a hero to the homosexual community who was integral in pressuring the American Psychiatric Association to reclassify same-sex activities as ‘normal,’ has written to a pro-family organization that he believes bestiality is fine, ‘as long as the animal doesn’t mind.’ In a weekend letter to Americans for Truth, an organization dedicated to revealing the truth about homosexuality, Kameny also said there is no such thing as ’sexual perversion.’ ‘Absolutely indisputably a central part of the very definition of Americanism is the guarantee, found in the Declaration of Independence, as not merely a Right, but as an Inalienable Right, of the ‘Pursuit of Happiness,” he wrote. ‘If something which someone arbitrarily defines as a ’sexual perversion’ provides happiness for consenting adult participants, then its enjoyment is enshrined in basic Americanism. So: Let us have more and better enjoyment of more and better sexual perversions, by whatever definition, by more and more consenting adults. We will all be the better off thereby. And that will be Americanism in action,’ he said… Kameny, now 83, said, ‘Bestiality is not my thing … But it seems to be a harmless foible or idiosyncrasy of some people. So, as long as the animal doesn’t mind (and the animal rarely does), I don’t mind, and I don’t see why anyone else should.’” — WorldNetDaily (US)

(Thanks to Furpo for the link.)

There are two issues here: first, Mr. Kameny’s argument in favor of bestiality and, implicity, AFTAH’s argument against it; second, the wisdom of sending a pro-bestiality argument to a group that clearly doesn’t want to hear it. (Americans for Truth About Homosexuality is a group “dedicated to exposing the homosexual activist agenda. AFTAH seeks to apply the same single-minded determination to opposing the radical homosexual agenda and standing for God-ordained sexuality and the natural family as countless homosexual groups do in promoting their harmful agenda.”)

Kameny’s argument is premised on consent: if an animal consents to sexual behavior with a human, then does another human have the right to interfere or to pass judgement? To this AFTAH responds: “how exactly does an animal signal his or her ‘consent’ to have sex with a human?” Admittedly, it’s a tricky question. If you look at it philosophically, it raises all sorts of issues about what it means to be human or animal and what it means to communicate. While there may be evidence that some animals use primitive language systems and engage in mechanical forms of reasoning, few would argue that animals are rational or capable of making any higher-level decision about sexual consent. To this most bestialists would respond that you only have to spend significant time with animals to develop lines of communication with them. Animals may not speak as they do in Doctor Doolittle, but there are a variety of ways they can indicate consent. A dog doesn’t need to talk to show you he likes being petted.

As is the case with most philosophical conundrums, there is never going to be an irrefutable resolution to the question. People will choose sides but the argument itself isn’t going to evolve. Which leads directly to the second issue: is there any point in Mr. Kameny sending a pro-bestiality screed to AFTAH? LaBarbera and his followers will never accept the pro-bestiality argument. Kameny and his followers will never accept the anti-bestiality argument. You’re left with the spectacle of opponents engaging in debates that will lead nowhere. About the best outcome for which either side can hope is that the contest serves to get his argument out to the public.

In the end, though, it’s difficult to imagine that this debate will be solved by debating. A greater force has entered the game, like the deus ex machina in a Greek play. It’s the internet. Never before in history have deviants been able to come together, communicate, or organize as they do now. (That’s precisely Mr. LaBarberra’s bugaboo.) Will the world at large ever learn to accept bestiality? Now may be the moment that that question gets answered. Imagine the internet as one huge poll on a single question: “Do you think it’s ok for people to have sex with animals?” You get the sense that it won’t be long before a majority emerges.